Q My grandparents paid for me to go to college and graduate school and have given me large gifts of money at Christmas and on my birthdays. Now, they're planning to give me part of my inheritance early. However, they're asking for some very personal information about my husband's and my finances. While I want my inheritance, I don't think my grandparents should be poking their noses into our business.
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A If you and your husband find your grandparents' questions too intrusive, you can always politely decline to answer. But remember that what you refer to as your inheritance is, in fact, your grandparents' money, and they're under no obligation to give it to you.
So before you do anything drastic, or foolish, why not ask your grandparents why they want the information? Perhaps they'd like to know if you and your husband are good savers and prudent investors before giving you so much of their money.
While it still feels like prying, your grandparents are your benefactors, so their questions are neither unfair nor unreasonable. Plus the truth is, if you choose to accept large amounts of money from other people - whether they're relatives, friends or taxpayers - you may have to give up some privacy, some control, or both. It's your choice.
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Q My husband
comes from a family of 12 children. These otherwise nice people think nothing of emailing all the relatives to start a "fund" for whatever it is one of them wants. Since my husband travels a lot, they're constantly asking us for frequent-flyer miles so they can go to this wedding or that christening. Now that our daughter Rachel has her first real job, they've started in on her. Last week, she was asked to chip in for a cousin's orthodontia. Rachel's not as tough as we are - we usually say no - and we fear she'll be a soft touch for their relentless begging. Is there a way to put a stop to their solicitations without causing too much turmoil?�
A Write a standard, one- size-fits-every-solicitation response that says you wish them all the best but are unable to help. Every time you get a request, email the same response. Give a copy of the response to Rachel, and encourage her to do likewise. Your husband's relatives will get the picture soon enough.
Sound a little cold? Don't worry. You say these folks are nice people, and nice people get over it when they're politely rebuffed for overstepping.
Email your questions about money and relationships to Questions@MoneyManners.net.
Source: http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_18179779?source=rss
Blu Cantrell Cristina Dumitru Nadine Velazquez Donna Feldman Paula Garcés
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